PAUL RANTS

Posted by Paul at August 31st, 2009

Where do I pick up my prints?

Right over there, at the printer where that man is standing. You’ll be after him.

But isn’t he going to get my prints?

They’re not coming out now. There’s a touchscreen next to the printer. You log-on with your account. Then it will print.

So if I go click print it will come out of that printer?

Yes. Whenever you’re ready to pick up your print job, you will log-on to that printer using the touchscreen right next to it, and it will print out.

But how do I know when my prints are coming out?

After you click “print” you’re going to take your account number, the one you used to get on the computer? And you will go log-on on to that printer right there, and your print job is gonna come SHOOTING OUT OF IT.

OK, thanks.

Posted by Paul at August 21st, 2009

Hooray! The guy who blew up 270 innocent people is out of prison and back home in Libya! Our hearts are swelling with pride. Thank Allah our guy took care of those despicable airline passengers and crew. Can you imagine the audacity to go on vacation or do business in Europe? And bring children along? Let’s not forget those who died on the ground who had the gall to live below where the plane exploded. Wave your flags and celebrate the return of our brave hero! Thanks British Petroleum, and everyone else concerned, for this momentous occasion. And yes, you may buy our oil now. You’re welcome!

Posted by Paul at August 1st, 2009

It’s a public option for healthcare. It won’t be mandatory. If you don’t like it, don’t use it. And yes, your taxes will help pay for it because some of us need it and you might too. If not, what you have now will still exist, if it can compete. And unless you own stock in Kaiser or Aetna, why care what happens to the healthcare industry? A bunch of board members and CEOs making hundreds of millions a year. Cut them out of your 401k, I say. Fuck ‘em. As long as doctors, nurses, drug makers, hospitals, etc, still get paid. And if the public healthcare option tanks, the current options thrive as they have been. But that would be a shame, since the current options cost businesses and people way too much, and leave too many uncovered. Hey, this may just affect you, even if you’re a slack-jawed yokel who doesn’t know Hawaii is part of the United States.

UPDATE: Oh, Those Death Panels Republican congressman says grandma will be forced to die under Obama… after voting for the same so-called “death panels” under Bush. What? That kind of thing never happens!

UPDATE II: Obama weighs in Too little too late?

UPDATE III: Happy now?