PAUL RANTS

Posted by Paul at April 26th, 2006

Osama bin Laden on his latest tape:

They send their sons to armies to fight us and they continue their financial and moral support while our countries are burned and our houses are bombed and our people are killed.

Hold up. Didn’t you send your guys to burn down our buildings and kill our people back in 2001..? And this isn’t a war against your “people” (psycho terrorist boogey men?) It’s an attempt to control the flow of oil in Iraq and enrich the military industrial complex, perpetrated by Dark Lord Cheney, who isn’t exactly swimming in “moral support” at the moment. I mean, come on, get your facts straight, Osama.

Their [the West’s] opposition to Hamas has confirmed that it is a Crusader-Zionist war against Muslims. Meanwhile, I can say that war is a shared responsibility between the people and the government…

Hello? Hamas has been blowing up pedestrians since you were attending college in England, Osama. And George Bush may be an evangelical nutball, but the people are still in charge over here. Got it slim? For your information, nearly 70% of us disagree with the policies of Bush (as laid down by D.L. Cheney). So milk your religious persecution rhetoric for all it’s worth. Bush is on his way down (because we don’t like him, not because you don’t), and his evangelical buddies in congress as well. Come on, we, the people, don’t want the Arab Muslim’s souls, Osama. But, yes, the Dark Lord does want their black gold…

Posted by Paul at April 19th, 2006

Rice Calls Brutal Oil-Rich Dictator a ‘Good Friend’

Equatorial Guinea is ruled by one of the most brutal dictatorships on the planet. President Teodoro Obiang Nguema lives a jet-set life style with homes in Europe and the United States, while most of his people suffer from malnutrition. Then there’s the torture and other human rights abuses, but I won’t go into that (OK, just one little tidbit: he likes to have his goons smear oil on people who are angry about starving to attract stinging ants). Our illustrious Secretary of State is apparently impressed by the way this man runs his country, giving him the seal of approval on behalf of us American citizens. Of course, the only difference between Nguema and Saddam Hussein is Nguema is friendly to our oil companies (You know, the ones that are making record profits as the US economy begins it’s slow decline. Yeah, them.). This administration considers oil profits for a handful of billionaires to be a goal higher than human rights. I wish that was just a reactionary statement, but it’s a fact. Here’s another one for you: Our standing in the world is forever tarnished. Happy? Not only are we directly responsible for tens of thousands of civilian deaths in Iraq, we are now condoning starvation in Africa. Why? To keep some CEOs flush with cash. I don’t know about you, but I’m just welling up with pride.

Our Friend Teodoro

A Touch of Crude

Posted by Paul at April 15th, 2006

So I’m driving to work and I’m stuck behind one of these monstrosities. Not only does it take up every inch of lane, the cell phone yapping driver is crawling along, oblivious to those behind him who might actually want to get somewhere. Or at the very least, see what’s up ahead. Can someone tell me why you need a Hummer in Los Angeles? It’s seventy-five degrees year-round with traffic clogged streets. There are no obstacles to overcome (other than anyone unlucky enough to get in your way), plus it’s hard enough to parallel park in a normal car. I mean, come on, seriously. How many hugs from daddy did you not get that you need to drive to Starbucks in a troop transport vehicle?

Posted by Paul at April 15th, 2006

Iran Leader: Israel Will Be Annihilated

How unfortunate that after spending untold billions of dollars and untold thousands of lives in Iraq, a real threat in the middle east now emerges right next door. I suppose it’s no accident that President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran waited until Bush got us neck deep in the Iraq quagmire before he popped up and declared, “Hey, look over here! We really are making weapons of mass destruction…and not only that, we intend to annihilate Israel. Come and get us! (bronx cheer)” Iran understood that even if Bush actually had a plan for Iraq (which obviously he didn’t), it wouldn’t work anyway because Iraq is made up of three sects, all with ancient animosities, that are not about to democratize in our image (certainly not at the point of an American, Israel-supporting gun; that much they can agree on). Iran stepped up their uranium enrichment as soon as Bush foolishly declared, “mission accomplished.” Timing is everything.

Posted by Paul at April 10th, 2006

Immigration Rallies Sweep U.S.

I’m sorry, but shouldn’t that be Illegal Immigration Rallies Sweep U.S.? I don’t want to sound politically incorrect (wait a minute, yes I do), but isn’t that what we’re talking about? Immigrants in general aren’t up in arms about anything, right? Another thing: Aren’t there already laws on the books that make entering the country illegally, well, illegal? How about we enforce those laws instead of allowing congress to pander to voters in an election year with legislation we don’t need?

The word “immigrant” implies that you immigrated somewhere, which is a legal process. My wife is an immigrant. She’s been waiting for nearly four years to be eligible for permanent resident status. She came here on a visa, married me (a US citizen), and eventually got a temporary green card. Maybe if she had simply sneaked into the country congress would now take up her cause.

I wonder: if a broke immigrant were to start protesting in France because their limited work visa expired, how many days would pass before the laughter finally died down..?

Posted by Paul at April 8th, 2006

The vice president’s top aide testified under oath that the President of the United States authorized a leak of sensitive intelligence about Iraq. This is Cheney’s CLOSEST CONFIDANT testifying UNDER OATH. We already know the Bush administration wanted to overthrow Iraq when they first got into office. We know Cheney cherry-picked dubious intelligence after 9/11 to present to congress. We know the Secretary of State resigned when he got fed up with being used as a pawn. Ditto for the head of the CIA. Not only was congress duped, so was the media, as well as at least half of the American people (who seem to only now be slowly waking up)… The leak, or the declassification, or whatever spin you want to put on it, happened not for strategic but for political reasons, to get back at an ambassador who dared question the administration’s motivations. Valerie Plame may be safe now, but I wonder what the other CIA operatives in the field think about the behavior of their commander-in-chief and his jackal VP? You may be able to dupe some troops on the ground in Iraq (can you say mixed message?), but you can be sure our elite spies know whose side Bush is on: Our “eternal friends,” the Arab oil barons, who pay off the terrorists to leave them alone.

–> SEE BUSH FALL