PAUL RANTS

Posted by Paul at August 27th, 2010

My wife wanted to re-activate her Bally’s gym membership and get one for yours truly. Customer service told her it was $215 a year for her membership, plus $199 a year for mine, with a $10 credit card fee. Also, my membership wouldn’t be valid for 5 days. Or we could get the same deal with no $10 fee if we went to a Bally’s gym. So we drove there and the salesman told us, no, it was $249 a year for her, not $215. No credit card fee, but 34 more dollars. When I protested he looked on his computer again. Nope, that was as low as he could go. He tried to steer her to a 3 year membership; cheaper in the long run, but we weren’t there for a 3 year membership, we were there to avoid the $10 fee. Adding $34 to our bill sort of nullified that. He was persistent but I managed to extricate ourselves.

At home I called customer service and told them what happened. Why had they said we could get the same deal at the gym? We drove all the way over there, with our 1 year-old child, and were greeted by a used car salesman. At that point they offered the original deal with no $10 fee, plus my new membership would be valid in 24 hours instead of 5 days.

You know what, just give me the best deal up front and don’t dick me around. You’re not selling condos in Miami, you’re selling gym memberships. They cost so many dollars per month, or per year, or whatever. Do we really have to talk to one person over the phone, then drive somewhere to talk to another person, and then get back on the phone and talk to a third BEFORE WE GET TO USE YOUR SHITTY GYM? WHAT THE FUCK???

Posted by Paul at August 22nd, 2010

(Hat tip: David Brody)

Posted by Paul at July 18th, 2010

thom yorke black swan animated video by guy harlap from guy harlap on Vimeo.

Posted by Paul at July 8th, 2010

Sure, go check-out books. After thirteen years in Periodicals. Endless rolls of microfilm, little pencils, request slips, stock reports, magazines. Internet sign-up and user help. Scanning rare newspapers for Historical, maintaining the database. By-appointment “CyberCoach”. Working the Audio Visual desk. All this has prepared me for… checking out books.

But who will cover Periodicals/internet, etc, etc? Bingo: someone with less seniority and experience. By the way, train them to do your job. Thanks. Then go check-out books. No, that’s it, just that. Oh, and check them in. You’re welcome. By the way, this is not a business we’re running; bureaucracy usurps logic.

On second thought, no. I’m able to survive without the little money you pay (the amount of which hasn’t budged in four years), the limited hours you offer, and the no vacation pay. Leaving, done, sayonara. I’ll miss my co-workers in Periodicals and the city hall gym. Two weeks notice.

Last day: supervisor sends me to Admin, Admin sends me to HR, who send me back to Admin. While I’m in Admin, HR calls and tells me to come back in a hour. When I get to HR again I wait half an hour. I’m told the guy who has my last check is on break. Apparently he took it with him (?). They will mail it to me instead. Fine, I say, and leave HR. About what I expected.

The final minutes come after thirteen years in the library. Does management come downstairs and offer a farewell? The gumption cannot be summoned. Other than some awkward goodbyes with co-workers, the day ends like any other.

A week later my supervisor texts me: I have your last check here. Want me to drop it in the mail..?

(Uh, Next courtesy Bill Walker)

Posted by Paul at June 3rd, 2010

But I think we can agree he’s no slouch. Arizona State University once had President Obama deliver their commencement speech, but they declined to give him the usual honorary degree. A Harvard graduate (editor of the law review) and professor who became Senator of Illinois, and then the first non-white President in the history of the nation “hadn’t achieved enough yet”. Ha.

YES, HE WILL HAVE TO SHOW THE DISCERNING STAFF HERE AT ASU MORE ACCOMPLISHMENTS BEFORE HE’LL GET OUR COVETED HONORARY DEGREE (Translation: CAN HE TURN WHITE?).

Posted by Paul at May 17th, 2010

Oh, look: we’re giving more per month to war profiteers than under Bush. Would be nice to see an itemized ledger showing how our 6.7 billion a month is being spent. But no, let’s not talk about that. There’s other stuff which costs way less we can spend hours on cable news blathering about.

And from the In Case You Didn’t Already Know They Were Two Faced Bloodsuckers department: Goldman Sachs Publicly Supports Financial Reform But Fights It With Lobbyists

Posted by Paul at May 8th, 2010

Twenty/thirty–somethings too cool too hip too edgy with their blackberrys and skinny jeans sitting on the patio at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf as I use the drive-thru with my baby daughter in back they look through me I’m a cliche they have tattoos but never been in jail or in a biker gang working for Live Nation or My Space talking about five things at once did you hear did you see did you go to the thing I get a regular iced coffee with four sugars and whole milk one day my daughter and her friends will dictate what’s edgy what’s cool then your hairlines will look like mine your mortgage will be due your ironic t-shirts will be gone but the tattoos will stay on your skin to remind you of who you thought you were so drink your chai lattes and stare off in to the middle distance while ye may.

Posted by Paul at May 5th, 2010

Abusive priests’ personnel files remain under wraps

Get a warrant and go take the files away from these child abuse advocates. If I were a school principal who sent a child raping teacher to go rape at another school, I’d not only be detained or arrested, I’d be impelled to give up what I knew about that teacher, IMMEDIATELY.

This case was settled back in 2007, when they were ordered to turn over the files. Are we really that scared of the boogey men in the collars and white robes? Force them to give up the files now, or throw their law-breaking asses in jail.

Posted by Paul at April 17th, 2010

What you believe and what is true are two different things. Different people have different allegiances to each. If you believe your taxes were raised when in fact they were lowered, or that someone will take your guns away when in fact they show no interest in guns; or if you believe benefits for citizens is bad, but benefits for corporations who outsource labor is fine, well then my friend, you have left the land of facts and set up camp in the land of belief.

For instance, I believed Obama would be a change from Bush, but in fact the difference is only around the edges; the rest is just misdirection. I assumed corporations had limits on how much they can spend lobbying Congress. But in fact the Supreme Court says they can spend as much as they like. And hardest of all to accept, or even wrap my head around: the bail-out of Wall St. gamblers helps pay for their legal right to keep right on gambling.

Posted by Paul at April 15th, 2010

The triple threat — songwriter, guitarist, singer — who does all three well and distinctively, is somewhat rare. There are notable triple threats ranging in style from Jimi Hendrix to Joni Mitchell, Neil Young to Lindsay Buckingham, Willie Nelson to Pete Townsend, Kurt Cobain to Joan Armatrading, Lowell George to Mark Knopfler, and James Taylor to Prince.

Then there’s Richard Thompson. In case you didn’t know, as a songwriter Thompson is in league with Bob Dylan. His guitar playing is a double threat in itself: the signature string-bending electric assault, and the Celtic-tinged acoustic plucking, so intricate it can sound like two guitars at once. His voice is rich and distinctive, a baritone that snarls and laments.

But let’s stick to songwriting. For my money, it’s Thompson’s strongest suit, followed by his guitar. His deft turns of phrase are only matched by his relative obscurity (Richard WHO?). But let me clue you in: Thompson is the undisputed master of romantic disillusionment. Some examples from maybe his greatest album ever, Rumour and Sigh (1991):

If I cross your path again, who knows where, who knows when
On some morning without number, on some highway without end
Don’t grasp my hand and say “Fate has brought you here today”
Oh fate is only fooling with us, friend. — Keep Your Distance

Things I tried to put shine in her eyes
Wire wheels and shimmering things
Wild nights when the whole world seemed to fly

She said “The thing that’s so unique
When we’re together we don’t have to speak.
We’ll always be such good friends, you and I”

Oh but I misunderstood, but I misunderstood, but I misunderstood
I thought she was saying good luck, she was saying good bye — I Misunderstood

And the timeless storyteller:

Oh says Red Molly to James “That’s a fine motorbike.
A girl could feel special on any such like”
Says James to Red Molly “My hat’s off to you
It’s a Vincent Black Lightning, 1952.
And I’ve seen you at the corners and cafes it seems
Red hair and black leather, my favourite colour scheme”– 1952 Vincent Black Lightning

Brown hair zig-zag around her face and a look of half-surprise
Like a fox caught in the headlights, there was animal in her eyes
She said “Young man, oh can’t you see I’m not the factory kind
If you don’t take me out of here I’ll surely lose my mind” — Beeswing from Mirror Blue (1994)

On toxic legacies:

They told me to think and forget what I’d heard
They told me to lie and they questioned my word
They told me to fail, better sink than sail,
Just play the game — Can’t Win from Amnesia (1988)

From the point of view of a soldier observing a war orphaned child:

She sat by the banks of the dirty gray river
And tried for a fish with a worm on a pin
There was nothing but fever and ghosts in the water
Oh how will I ever be simple again — How Will I Ever Be Simple Again from Daring Adventures (1986)

a religious extremist:

There’s a message on the wind
Calling me to glory somewhere
There are signs too deep for the dumb
Like perfume in the air
And when I get to Heaven
I won’t realize I’m there — Outside of the Inside from The Old Kit Bag (2003)

and a U.S. soldier in Baghdad:

Dad’s in a bad mood, Dad’s got the blues
It’s someone else’s mess that I didn’t choose
At least we’re winning on the Fox Evening News
Nobody loves me here — Dad’s Gonna Kill Me from Sweet Warrior (2007)

Surface scratched.